Oh Irving Oil, you make it even easier than it has been to make fun of an oil company…

In what many would believe was a late/early April Fool’s Joke being played by an environmental organization on an oil company, Irving Oil’s Facebook page wants you to be Fluent in Whale and know that “If right whales could speak our language they might say ‘thank you!’” to the company due to them rerouting some of their shipping lanes in the Bay of Fundy.

Right.

I am positive that the words “thank you” would definitely not be the first thing they would say the next time they can’t breathe due to their blowhole being plugged up with huge blob of thick, black oil spilled by a random oil tanker ship out in the ocean. I can think of another choice word that whales may have for oil companies that goes with “you” – but this is a family-friendly site. I am sure you can figure which word I am thinking of.

The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is estimated to have killed at least 5,700 whales and dolphins and while that was certainly a big spill contained in a relatively small area, the fact is that oil is spilled into the ocean around the globe on a daily basis, whether through drilling accidents, tanker spills, or just leakage from a well. All that oil kills wildlife, including whales.

By rerouting some of the shipping lanes, Irving Oil reports that collisions with whales has been reduced by some 90 percent. That’s great news; I am sure the whales appreciate it. But I doubt that they would come barreling out of the sea just to thank us for driving our polluting vessels around their migratory routes, since the very product being shipped around the globe is so toxic that one spill could kill thousands of them in one fell swoop.

If Irving Oil is looking for a “thank you” from the whales, they should ensure that not one drop of oil ever gets spilled in the ocean. That would be worthy of a whale’s thank you. Rerouting some ships so they don’t kill whales is just the right thing to do, no thank you is necessary.

Let’s say I own a house and someone with a car drives around my place to get where they are going instead of driving right through it. That’s good; I didn’t really want to get run over in my own home. It was the right thing for that person to do. However, it doesn’t do me any good if they then proceed to spill a million gallons of gas right behind me and that gas comes pouring into my home, killing me and my family. At that point, they should have just run me over when they had the chance.

Irving Oil’s “Fluent in Whale Game” lets you send a message to your friends in authentic “whale.” If I were Fluent in Whale I wouldn’t waste time sending a message to my friends. The first thing I would do is apologize to the whales for all the oil spilled into our oceans by these oil companies. After that, I may send a message to Irving Oil in authentic “whale” to tell them what I think of this game. You can do the same right here should you be so inclined.

[via John Rooks at The Soap Group]

Image Credit: kohane/Flickr